Rage against the machine

If you ever feel like your teacher has it out for you, and you’re up against it – I want you to be armed with the ability to humorously get your point across.  I suppose you could take a page out of the Arlo Guthrie playbook and sing a bar …

How many Silver Alerts does a man need?

Don’t let previous blog posts or commentary about the in-laws fool you, I love old folks just as much as the next guy.  They’re like cute, lovable, excessively wrinkly babies – except they need a special lift to get into bed. And just like kids, they wander.  I don’t mind …

Mother Nature fails me again

 

Mother Nature forgets your old man every time. It rains everywhere else in the world except on my lawn.

Rain radar photo

Glitter allergy

When contemplating fatherhood (read: when your wife tells you she’s pregnant), you expect certain hurdles. You hear things like “good luck getting any sleep” and “if I ever see another dirty diaper again…” These things are hardly surprising, but there are some things that sneak up on you.  They’re not in …

Calling all old people

As you know, your aunt works with with the elderly.  It has never been fully explained to me what she does, but I do know she gives them sex education classes, shuttles them around in her Honda (to soccer games?), counts their nickles at bingo night, and helps place them …

Writing to children

I was recently asked why I write to my daughters when they are not yet old enough to read. First, I intend to raise children that will one day be able to read.  I’ll at least give it a shot.  So we’ll call it an archive for now. Second, with …

Stupid wooded areas

When I was in shop class in school the teacher gave a lesson on power tool safety. To get his point across, he showed us photos of what happens when you don’t respect a jig saw. It wasn’t pretty but it kept us further from the business end of the …

Your Great-Grandmother Is Really Something

Your great-grandmother watches true-crime investigative shows on TV and inevitably falls asleep in the middle of the episode.  By the time she wakes up the next episode is already well underway. Not realizing this, she ponders aloud how a burglary investigation has now led to a double murder conviction. Old people nod …

On the lawn…

Just as the Lord created grass He created concrete. Each with it’s intended purpose. Grass: admiration. Concrete: transportation. #lawnlostlove