Please be a drug dealer, please be a drug dealer…

Your “Uncle” Joe came across a real winner the other day.  I hesitated to even post it at first, but then again this bloke he came across is the one driving around with a poor choice in license plates for all the world to see – so i’m hardly adding to his problem.  Plastered right there on the rear end of a Dodge minivan was the following:  BUYNBUST

Let’s pause for some background.  “Buy and bust” is an expression used to describe an operation where the police buy drugs from a dealer, then arrest said dealer.

Back to the problem.  I don’t know who the car belongs to, but what I can tell you is when I saw the photo of this gem I kept repeating to myself  “please be a drug dealer, please be a drug dealer…”  But as much as I want to believe this is some mope “crackin’ wise” with this clever little tag, this car undoubtedly belongs to a cop.  We all know it.

And before you ask why I presume it’s a “he” – only a male cop would have the right mix of arrogance and stupidity to go through with paying EXTRA for this carefully thought out vanity plate.  Add the extra registration fee to the price of the body work every time someone keys your car, I’m sorry – MINIVAN – and it makes for a pretty pricey customization.

So the takeaway:  You should generally use some degree of discretion in letting people know you are in law enforcement.  And when doing so, try not to antagonize the criminal element.  This is especially important when you (or your family) are in a minivan.

Say, um, honey-bunchkins? Can I ask you a question?  Why do people keep shooting at me and the kids while we’re driving to soccer practice?

Maybe I’m a bit traditional, but when I’m out and about and I return to my car I prefer to find all four wheels fully inflated.  It helps me move down the road more efficiently.  So here’s how to reduce the risk of getting your tires slashed: choose a license plate that says something like GODZLUV or KITTENZ.  Or better yet, try this crazy idea – opt for the random letters and numbers.   I’m not sure there are any published studies backing me up here, but I think you’re less likely to be stabbed to death while exiting your car with a license plate that says DZW3294 than our IMACOP friend with his BUYNBUST plate, for example.  Something to consider.

Hey, why are all the windows on my car rolled down.  And what’s with this broken glass everywhere?

Sidenote: Could you imagine if this bloke was allowed more than the seven or eight character limit? IMANARCODEETEEANDLUVBUSTINDRUGDEELERZSOJUSTRYNSTOPME.

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