Spring is upon us…

Remember girls – Daddy’s lawn is not meant to be trampled.  It is meant to be admired.  Ideally, from the porch, the driveway, or the sidewalk.

Please poison yourself responsibly

Well girls, your “Uncle” Tom did it again. Every time he tries to brew beer at home he calls me with some questions. After answering them, I always tell him to let me know how it went. And every time he reports back that some sort of disaster rendered his …

House arrest = No ballet class

No ballet class for you the other day Number One – it got cancelled.  Well, I accidentally took your mother’s car keys to work – quickly putting you 60 miles from any chance of doing as much of a jette battu as a 2 year old can do. So here’s …

A World Made of Nerf Material

Girls, police work can be quite stressful. I do not want to minimize this fact, but those levels of stress pale in comparison to raising you girls. We were talking about Disney cruises at work the other day.   I’m not so sure about these cruises girls.  How do they …

Remember your father girls…

…without the fake flowers. On each anniversary of the death of a former coworker we prominently display a photo in the lobby.  Now girls, I understand and respect the point – but please, PLEASE make sure that no one does this while your dear old man is lying comfortably six …