Your Great-Grandmother Is Really Something

Your great-grandmother watches true-crime investigative shows on TV and inevitably falls asleep in the middle of the episode.  By the time she wakes up the next episode is already well underway. Not realizing this, she ponders aloud how a burglary investigation has now led to a double murder conviction. Old people nod …

Get well soon crazy cousin!

Girls, your cousin is on the mend after a bout with some sort of affliction I cannot spell nor pronounce. So we send him our best. Publicly, of course (who needs email? we’re not telling secrets here). Hello Crazy Cousin! – I hope you’re feeling a bit better. I heard …

Prohibition II

I received some very troubling news in good ‘ol NYC today girls. Metronorth is doing away with the “bar car”. The last one rolls out of Grand Central this evening at 7. The bar car was just like the name suggests – a train car designed for and dedicated to serving …

Mint Juleps

Your father is a Kentucky Derby fanatic. Picture the father in The Christmas Story movie and his love for turkey. I’m a junkie. If I could pull a wing off the Derby before it’s fully cooked and eat it I would. The pomp and circumstance of it all. The twin …

Easter Hangover

Well Easter has come and gone leaving you girls with not much more than some colorful hard-boiled eggs with moderate body damage and little balls of plastic grass tumbleweed gently bouncing through our Easter ghost town. Little did I know what a couple of kilos of chocolate could do to …

Queue the necessary “Golden Girls” reference

Keep in mind girls, that your grandparents’ “apartment complex” (think: Shady Pines) is one of those mysterious and contradictory places where you are expected to “keep it down” at the same time you are required to “speak up!”

Lawn Lost Love

My wife says that I pay more attention to my lawn than I do to my lawn.  I said – Lawn, that’s not true, you know I love you.

Dad’s new toy

Daddy got a new lawn mower today girls – so stay off of it!!! (my lawn, not the mower – play on the mower all you want)

Please be a drug dealer, please be a drug dealer…

Your “Uncle” Joe came across a real winner the other day.  I hesitated to even post it at first, but then again this bloke he came across is the one driving around with a poor choice in license plates for all the world to see – so i’m hardly adding …